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I Invented Mixed Signals

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My Life Changed in One Day

My Life Changed in One Day

For those of you who have been following me since the beginning know that this blog was simply a way for me clean out all of the impurities within myself. That somehow transformed into the mind of a sugar baby that had bits and pieces of her heart trapped within the words.

But here is the thing; I have to be honest with all of you. This is a complete contradiction to who I am as whole, but represents exactly who I was when I was imcomplete.

The characteristics to my personality involved lies. I was in fact a true liar; A walking oxymoron walking a heart beat contradiction.

I created stories and was very good at it.

The saying is true; we are no longer afraid of the monsters under the bed when we realize that all the monsters live within us.

Think about it.

What is your scariest thought, the part of yourself that you don’t even dare think about?

Everyone has it.

This physical body will soon die, but what about our spirits. Don’t deny your spirit because you cannot; for it is your spirit that you always subconsciously try to feed. It is the spirit that truly feels pain and suffering or joy and happiness. It is the spirit that will live on soon after this physical body is no longer.

I hope that all of the young ladies out here that I once called my fellow sugar babies get out of this disgusting materialistic state of mind. Because trying to find happiness within physical things is like trying to chase the wind.

Don’t fall into the trap of indulging in worldly affairs when it actuality without a doubt it becomes poisonous to the heart.

My whole life literally changed in a day and it no longer depends on the day with me.

Peace ladies

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Now that the school year has officially started I seriously have no time for sugaring. Study study study. My daddy should understand, after all he is the one paying for it.

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Cold Feet

So Mr. Libra is ready for me to come visit. And granted we have already met, I had my best friend with me. I almost don’t want to go unless I’m guaranteed like ten grand. Yea I know unrealistic but I’m just tired of depending on this lifestyle. Yea yea I wear expensive make up and the only color beneath my feet is a replica of the blood the in my veins. Okay I’m being dramatic. But really! I just want to move back to campus with my friends and join the cheer team again. And be an orientation leader. And have a real bf. Bla bla but that is not my life.

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Updateee!!!

Okay so TD came last week for business. He took me shopping and out almost every night. So one night I mentioned my own apartment he totally shot down the idea. I was shocked he knows that was a priority on my wish list. His reason was he doesn’t want me to be tempted to sleep with anyone. Wtf does he care. That pretty much ruined our time together.

So one night while he was working late I was in his hotel room bored and obviously still pissed. Well Mr.Libra skypes me. He could tell I was upset but I didn’t tell him why. I just told him I needed a vacation.

Him: how fast can you pack your bags? Me: depends on where I’m going. Him: a cruise with me. Me: in that case 10mins Him: good I just booked you a flight and it leaves in 2hrs see you soon? Me: drops jaw okay bye.

So by this point I’m soooo excited and nervous because we had planned to see eachother at the end of this month. But I just decided to enjoy the moment.

So I wrote TD a note and told him we need to reevaluate our arrangement. Which we do.

I already had a suitcase full of new clothes. So I ran to the store to grab a few extra items and off to the airport I went.

When I arrived to the airport a guy was waiting for me. He said Mr Libra will meet you for dinner. I was a little upset he didn’t come get me himself. Not to mention I had no idea if what I had on was acceptable for dinner.

When I arrived to the restaurant he was already waiting for me with flowers. Granted I hate flowers it was a great gesture considering he didn’t pick me up himself. Well we talked and got comfortable with eachother you all know how it goes.

The next day we left for the cruise it was auhhhmazing I enjoyed every second. We are still meeting again at the end of august. And again mid september. And then hes coming to where I am we are going skiing even though I prefer snowboarding.

We really did hit it off. And the craziest part is we didn’t have sex. We had so much fun doing everything else.

If this works out I am definitely going to be specific on what I want. Because I still haven’t heard from TD. shrugs

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Touching Base!

I know I haven’t updated in awhile but my life this past week has had so many unexpected surprises involving both of my SD’s and Mr. Libra.

I will catch you guys up in a week after I get back from my cruise.

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I’ve been shopping since 10am and I am finally burnt out. TD had an early meeting and couldn’t go with me, but he made sure I had enough money to keep myself entertained.

He is trying to close a huge deal for his company and its cutting into me and him time. So far we haven’t done anything together besides sleep. So hopefully tonight will be eventful.

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So I am in Texas Daddy’s hotel room waiting for him to get back.Luckily I have homework to keep me busy. TD (texas daddy) was so exited to see me yesterday. It was adorable he had the biggest grin on his face. He also took me up on my offer to get a new dress, I’m pretty excited to shop and secretly get some retail therapy out of the way. Well I’m out, I’ll continue to keep you posted.

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Later on….

Okayyy now that I’m done being depressed, I am finishing up everything to see Texas Daddy before I head to class.

He told me to pack a nice dress but I can’t find one I like. I am going to suggest him to take me shopping for one. Besides I really could use the retail therapy.

Still haven’t talked to Mr.Libra since our conversation, but I’m not that concerned. I still need time to process everything and reevaluate if I want to start a new arrangement with someone that I could potentially get hurt by.

Getting hurt is definitely not in my agenda. Not to mention sugaring is just a segment of my life. I can’t afford anymore emotional drainage.

Well I’m off to study before class.

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I’m so sore but I worked out through the pain anyway and I shall do it again tomorrow.

It’s going to be a long uncomfortable night. I have research I need to organize and I can’t do it in the comfort of my bed.

I have been getting ready to see Texas Daddy tomorrow. I just hope he doesn’t sense that I’m distracted because of another man. That would be unfair to him.

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Uuuuhhhh

I cannot stop replaying the conversation Mr.Libra and I had last night. It has literally placed me in a different state of mind.

I need to get my game face on because Texas Daddy will be in town tomorrow.

So distracted….

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Shaved or no shave?

So I usually don’t go into explict detail about anything involving my sex life but Mr.Libra and I had a very interesting conversation. He asked me if I shaved and I said yes, his response was almost in disgust. I was completely shocked!! In my experience most guys perfer a clean, shaved, razor bump free vaginal area.

In his defense he basically said his mindset changed because he has younger daughters, which totally made sense. Not to mention was a complete relief, some of these ”daddies” go a little overboard with the whole daddy daughter role playing. It gets creepy 99.9% of the time.

I really think its awesome he doesn’t care for a shaved vaginal area. Honestly I can get extremely lazy, especially if I’m not seeing anyone. Like what woman doesn’t?

He also made a random comment about eating me out for 2 or more hours. Now I’m not sure if that is just something people say but I’m thinking ”oh em gee that would take for fuh king ever.” 10- 15mins tops. Okay I’m not gonna lie to my blog honestly 5-7mins and I want sex. But despite the embarrassment and confusion, ultimately it was good finding out he’s oral friendly.

I really could have made time to see him sooner than late august but making him wait is more fun. Not to mention learning we connect mentally is a huge bonus.

Ps. I want to know what you ladies think. Shaved or no shave?

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Sooo as I get to know Mr. Libra more I realize how awesome his personality is. He’s so funny and has a sense of humor that matches mine. It’s good to know he can be so silly in the presence of a good time, and I’m always a good time soooo yeah. Not to mention I can tell he is getting anxious/impatient about us finally meeting but all good things come in time.

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